Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
