Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
