I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
ttyl tear gas
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
