yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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