Your dad touched me again.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
