First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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