we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
