i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
