I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
