I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
