so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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