He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
