just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
