Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
