someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
