I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
