Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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