i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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