I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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