just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I am naked and annoyed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
