We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
