My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
