I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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