Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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