Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I love you. Go after that dick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
