How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
