Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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