Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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