dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
