I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
