I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
