Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My feet surprised me
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