There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
