It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
