I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
