Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
