i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
