I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
