He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
