the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
