literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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