He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
