I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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