glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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