i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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