Already got asked if we're dating
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
