Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
