I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
