Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
