i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
